Worship is the Answer

I'm studying ethics. The question of right and wrong, in my mind, is usually accompanied with the implicit question of "what can I get away with and still be considered right"? My professor in ethics uses the example of hormonal teenagers asking "How far is too far" in the sexual context. More appropriately for me, "how far is too far" in the context of my own desires.
Last night I went to a bonfire at my friend's house. The group was a bunch of single guys and girls ready to get real (scary situation). Apparently we have all been burned in the past in some form or fashion. The guys complained of receiving the "you're like a brother to me", "we can still be friends", or "I'm just not ready to date" responses. The girls were troubled with the line between waiting and letting the guy know you are interested. It would be improper to be so forward, yet guys claim they will not risk rejection unless there were a sense of interest. What a vicious cycle singles are placed in. As the night went on, we tried to help the other gender by answering questions dealing with the meaning of flirtation, the motive of pursuit, signs of interest, etc.... Unfortunately, what we came to understand is everyone is different in each of these categories. Flirting can be physical touch, encouragement, laughter, or even just a response to an initial flirting. Motives range from physical attraction to desperation for companionship. A person showing signs of interest may think it is obvious while one receiving them may assume friendliness. No answer was absolute. No hope can be found in fickle answers.
Our final conclusion was men need to step up and initiate while women submit (biblically speaking) and wait. Ethically, is the desire for this companionship right or wrong? Is it wrong to desire a particular person? Some would say of course not, God created marriage for companionship. Did he? Maybe! I'm not convinced my sole purpose of getting married is for companionship, although it is a blessing from God. 1 Corinthians 10: 31 tells me that whatever I do I should do for the glory of God. "Whatever" means everything. Everything I do should glorify God. Glorifying God is worship. I was created to worship. Therefore, marriage is not for my selfish desire for companionship but a life long act of worship. If it were for companionship, God's creation of marriage between Adam and Eve would imply Adam's relationship with God was insufficient (The Convergent Church by Mark Liederbach and Alvin L. Reid). On the other hand, my singleness is not a curse but an opportunity to worship God.
So again "how far is too far?" Maybe we ask the wrong question; Instead our question should be "How is this glorifying God?" How is my desire for a particular person glorifying God... or does it hinder me from worship?

The Mathematics of the Gospel

I love math. There is no ambiguity in the solution and the means to finding the solution. There are absolutes and rules, rightly applied always give the correct answer. There is no room for interpretation, only truth. Unfortunately, we live in a world when someone feels they have the right to question the meaning of the number three or if the sum of two plus two really equals four. Why can't it equal five?
I find myself giving the gospel the same treatment. Although in reality the gospel=Salvation; Salvation=Christ; therefore gospel= Christ, I begin creating my own system of truth: gospel= Christ + X. Somehow my life has not added up right. Things are missing I feel are owed to me. Suddenly I find myself sulking because apparently Christ just wasn't enough if I don't have X too. Then I go to Scripture (because that is what all good Christians do) and I find a verse that tells me God will give me X because he wants me to be happy. (Please understand the sarcasm). So I start reading Philippians 4:4-8:

"Rejoice in the lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-- think about such things."


First glance I hone in on only a fraction of the passage and it looks like this: Rejoice! Do not be anxious. By prayer and petition present your requests to God and the peace of God will transcend all understanding. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-- think about such things.

Do you see the difference? My tendency is to subtract the Gospel from the passage and focus on my own selfish desire! X is not bad in and of itself until I allow it to be the source of my joy. Until it says Christ is not enough! Soon enough my equation looks like gospel=X, eek!
Just in case you were wondering, after careful study I understand Philippians is not God's promise to give me X to make me happy if I just pray for it. Instead, he says don't be anxious be thankful. Be thankful you have a God you can approach with your requests. Come to God with everything and let Him show you what is good for you. God will give you peace in the form of himself, his goodness and his truth so you will not want to subtract Christ from the gospel; He is enough! And you may not understand this peace because it is not what you asked for but it is what you needed. Fortunately, God loves us enough to give us what we need and not always what we want. If it is difficult to stay focused on Christ then train your brain to think only of true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy things; these things will lead you to dwell on the Lord.
Gospel = Christ

What's next for me?

I hate planning! I love being spontaneous, living daily as if every moment could be a new adventure. I'm a typical girl and don't like to plan where to eat. I'm horrible at playing hostess because I can't decide how to entertain. I don't invite people to hang out because it is inevitable I will hang out with someone during the day anyways. I don't print driving directions because I like the challenge. I like to go walking and see where it leads me. Planning robs you of outrageous stories the could only be accomplished by self inflicted predicaments. I welcome change. My favorite is spur of the moment trips or outings that rely on pure charm to make it through the night. Push the limits!

Ironically, I have the next 10 years planned out but I think God enjoys a little spontaneity himself. Recently I've been mulling over two very real concerns of mine that are basically life altering moments in many peoples' lives: what does life look like after school and how does marriage fit into my life? I have strong desires of what I would like both of these concerns to eventually permit, but I fear that they do not coincide very easily.

As a preface I will say both concerns I have brought to God. These "concerns" may be described as curiosity too. However, the conflict between the two has captured my thoughts and intrigued my appetite for answers. My concern is not debilitating rather thought provoking.

One day I would love to live in Seattle as part of a ministry that pours into people that have no hope. I heard a statistic one time that Seattle has the highest rate of suicide. My first thought was God is there only hope. I used to want to go to Chicago and minister to the gangs, or at least the young siblings that follow lead. My strong desires include both reshaping the presuppositions that this is all life has to offer and to do it in a place that challenges my comfort. However, this desire challenges my other concern, to one day get married. I know I have already scared off a few guys with this big plan to move to Seattle someday after I graduate. I don't usually mind scaring off guys; not many guys I fancy are worth second thinking my plans in life. In fact, I usually don't allow my heart to attach so easily to guys simply for my view on dating. I won't date just because I'm lonely. I don't trust guys, so some guy that thinks he'll sweep me off my feet is mistaken. I hate cheese, I love realness. I want to get to know a guy before commitment is involved. If a guy is not interested in getting to know me then there is no hope. Friendship is the best start. My idea of romantic (although unrealistic) would be my best friend (no one in mind now) asking me to marry him out of nowhere. Of course, God has to be the Lord of his life. I want fun, wit, charm, spontaneity, affection, chivalry... the works but I don't want someone with this idea that dating is a sport. Anyways, all to say I'm harsh which narrows my chances of one, finding someone that will put up with me and two, someone that at least would be open to living uncomfortably. I'm not so naive to think God couldn't send me someone and where ever we live will be in God's will, or send me to Seattle and find someone there. However, right now this very moment in my life I wonder the classic question at this classic age why is there not someone now? Confession: there is someone special (of course he has no clue) but the dilemma lies in what kind of decision would I have to make if he ever got a clue?

Luckily, all this mumbo jumbo is speculation and still in God's sovereign hands. I will continue to pray. Perhaps I can focus less on the next 10 years and start praying more about the daily moment by moment adventure that God chooses to bless me with now. Lesson: Don't miss out on the good things now in anticipation of the possibilities for sufferings in the future.